PAPAL BOOK CLUB

PAPAL BOOK CLUB

I have just made a reminder to myself to add my membership to the Papal Book club after I obtain my commission.

Its going  to be expensive due to the need to have each volume transcribed in to Latin, German, Italian,Polish, Bullshit, Old German and Old English.

The current incumbent e mailed the other day advising me that the paper back versions have become so thick he uses them an make weight slabs when he bricks up unwanted delegates from the far east, Poland or Russia.
In any case, I will continue the trend and ensure that our friends enjoy their spell of solitary confinement when they come calling for a hail mary, absolution or whatever. Those left over can be stored in the Papel gents. 

Any way back to the crossword puzzle.

 Now lets see! Two words, eight letters in first beginning with C, third letter t, and ending in c!. Second word, six letters beginning with C and ending with h - Responsible for the deaths of countless millions over the centuries!.

See you soon. 

THE POPE IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE CHARD

THE POPE IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE CHARD

Recent events at the Vatican have convinced me that it is high time an Englishman was once again upon the papal throne.

 As previously documented by my fellow Duck Flat Cap Society colleague Horsington Smythe, my name has been added to those under consideration by the conclave of Cardinals, for the office of Pope.

If elected I will be known as Pope John Smith 1,and will be the first English Pope since Nicholas Breakspear (Adrian IV) died in 1159.
I have  adopted the title "John Smith I" in view of my favorite tipple and its helpfulness in performing his "miracle in the desert" and has the full backing of the Papal sub committee of the Duck Flat Cap Society.   

It is well known throughout military circles that I was responsible for a magnificent and wondrous miracle when serving in the Egyptian desert.

The miracle occurred when I was able to refill the radiator of my army land rover when it broke down in the western desert, even though there were no remaining supplies of water.

Witnesses at the time proclaimed that I simply stood facing the engine and after fiddling with my trousers for a couple of minutes and  remaining bolt upright and whistling for a couple of minutes, the radiator was sufficiently full to enable the continuation of the journey.



 My first duty as Pope would be to open my benefice to that of all religions, including that of Turdoxism and Bohemianism.

 I will immediately dispose of the white garments traditionally worn by the Pope and revert to my khaki military uniform. An exception shall be made for mass, when i shall where my traditional Duck Flat Cap Society regalia, consisting of checked shirt, breeches, black shoes, cardigan and scarf.

Further news of my bid for Papal dominance will be posted in due course.